This archive includes poems about flies, fly swaps, and the marginalia that goes with it. Appropriately, it starts with poems about Purina Trout Chow.

From: Chaz Clover
Subject: Trout Chow-ku

For your reading pleasure

Small brown pellet fly
Drifting purposely onward.
Regular flies drool!

From: Blake Werner
Subject: Re: Trout Chow-ku

wrapped with peacock herle
a glistening extrusion
the fish suck it in

there is no joy now
to "tie" a fly such as this
presentation null

ahhhh..the joy of corn
high dry floater that she is
cast there... delicate

a chunk of deer hair
spun and teased round a tiny shank
mamouth shadows lurk

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Trout Chow-ku

Chaz wrote:

>Next?

truck trutta treasure
lifeless morsel quiets the
rubber stomach growl

like SPAM for stocked fish
fiber with nutrient glue
they hatch too often

From: jim woolacott
Subject: Trout Chow-ku

spun white deer hair fly
clipped and drowned in garlic juice
the marshmallow hatch

From: John W. James
Subject: Trout Chow-ku

Little, round, brown chunk
Perplexes ev'ry trout's mind:
Turdlet or pellet?

From: Tom Fry

Subject: Trout Chow-ku

Spokane angler Mike Runje developed a pattern called Runje's Turd (sometimes mispronounced "Runny Turd") which consists of a body of brown mohair, well picked out, and a small collar of soft hackle.

can't be any worse
pellet or turd is soft but
Ranger Bob throws sand

This one has nothing to do with Purina. Supposedly, anyway:

Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2000
From: Rob Tucker
Subject: Caught My First Fish on an Orange Ant

fluorescent antics
on moist overcast day
orgasmic angling

yellow submarines
explode from brushy dark voids
to snatch magic ants

rainbow acrobats
riffle rise without reserve
orange you glad

pale evening duns
come late as the light lingers
pre solstice orgy

From: Blake Werner
Subject: "Usual" Recipe, please...

>Dear Listers....from both newsgroup factions,

___Hmmmmmmm..how unusual, I thought I don't hang out in those kinds of bars. This really calls for UKu

Hi, whatcha use'n
uhhhhh, heh, it's just a usual
good enuff for me

good near the topside
dandy underneath also
i fish the usual

winter is fine time
usual can excel for me
cept when i fish dry

From: Michael Hall
Subject: Ode to Teeny Nymphs

On Thu, 11 Mar 1999, Dave Engerbretson wrote:

> Believe it or not, but My wife, Shirley and I, have caught a lot of salmon
> in Alaska and BC on the Teeny Nymphs--black. (Sockeye and pink salmon.)

> I don't really see them as a "poor man's spey fly."

Absolutely correct! I feel Teeny Nymphs have been criminally underrated
in the past, not least on this list!:

Oh, Teeny Nymph "dumb looking" though you are, I must admit,
A poor man's spey fly you are not,
Not one iota...not one bit!
And if emotional attachment this ode does suggest,
It's true, I feel you all should give the Teeny Nymph a rest.

Although accepted is this list for comment or complaint,
In fly terms you must all accept,
The Teeny Nymph is but a Saint,
So when you feel a pull toward the spey fly, spare a thought,
To all the Sockeye and pink salmon that you never caught.

(In memory of Stan. A truly magnificent Teeny Nymph, and best of the bunch.)

Then there was the infamous Caddis Swap, Byard Miller's brainchild which required swappers to tie over 50 flies. He pulled it off wonderfully, but not before some bad poetry was generated:

From: George Bruzenak
Subject: Caddis Swap - I Confess
Okay, I confess. I ate the chocolate first. Unpardonable sin, but there it is.

Caddis rise
Vice to bench to mail
Byard!, I'm in for the century

(Sorry for the bad haiku)

From: George Bruzenak
Subject: Whoops!

I just wrote:

Caddis rise
Vice to bench to mail ---

Of course that should have been _vise_.

Spelling mistakes aside
Caddis rise from the vise
They are still a vice

(Sorry again - someone please either send me the official haiku rules or shoot me)

bruzer - Almost awake, and apologetic as all get out

From: Matt Jorgensen
Subject: Caddis Swap Senryu

Fifty one at last
Thought the day would never come
Life now needs new goal

Flies should be in the mail soon. I just need to come up with some sort of local item to include. Hmmm.... this could take longer than the tying.

From: Sue Kreutzer
Subject: Re: Caddis Swap Senryu

Kreutzer does agree
Squinting swearing interjected
Close to Finish YES !

Just a note, I -was- hopeful I could pick up 50 beer coasters from COORS Brewing Co., you know with some mountains on them, maybe JimBob Coors signature.....no way !! Got the COORS folk and a set of 4 costs $19.95

Plan B.....

sue

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: Caddis Swap

Hey, Byard!!

I'm up to thirty now, you know
But it sure is going real slow.
I just now realize
I like only Mayflys
Dry, dead drift, at one with the flow.

Claude

From: Byard Miller
Subject: Re: Caddis Swap Status...

Claude's tying a batch
It's a caddis swap-a-thon
Mayflys do not count

byard

And then there was the 2nd Annual Mardi Gras Swap, which prompted this one:

From: George Bruzenak
Subject: Re: Yo Momma

Hilarius,

I was warned to stay away from this swap - someone actually thought my flies were "too nice"!!! - I'll have you know that I have as little taste as other ff@migos - so count me in for the Yo Momma of all Swaps.

Purple to make you puke
Green what's like an Australian yawn
Gold like Ru Paul's bra

bruzer

Rich Swartz chimed in with his synopsis of the Simple Fly Swap:

From: Rich Swartz
Subject: Odes to a Swap -- First-time-Swapmeister Haiku and Doggerel

Round One:

flies that disappear
into the postal ether
Perry tries again

two swappers vanish
with nary a trace or word
what do I do now

enough containers
twenty-five wine glasses and
beer mugs in four rows

only twenty flies
where is that damn twenty-two
disco midge again

won't do at all
flies won't fit
boxes too small
get the ziplock