In the winter of '97 Sue Kreutzer arranged, with the help of a friend or two, a list-wide raffle of a Bahamas bonefishing trip. A week before the drawing was to be held she asked me to write a series of limericks for her, to be published one per day until the drawing.
Here in it's disgusting splendor is the complete series, one or two of which didn't get posted to the list because Sue got a little bit overwhelmed by the stench of my verse:
Your tan will be, oh, such a sight
as you get off that Bahamas flight
Am I talking about you?
and your buddy Chris, too?
We'll know in just half of a fortnight
In a week we'll be drawing your name
for a gift that puts others to shame
Bahamas for two,
with airfare, too
And a flyline that's made for big game
The days they are numbered, you bet
Only 6 'til we know who will get
a guide trip for two
on waters so blue
that the winter you're soon to forget
In a few days we will all know
which one of us will get to go
on a bonefishing spree,
where the guiding is free
and you're safely assured it won't snow
Only a few more days left 'til we pick
and believe me it's coming up quick
if you didn't pay
by Valentine's Day
Then on Monday you're gonna be sick!
The deadline's upon us this today
Yes, the entries are all tucked away
We wait nervously
hoping that it will be
our names that are drawn on Monday